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19 May 2010 @ 11:35 pm

Another late night post. And that means I use the app, not CC, sorry =/. At least I post.
Anyway. I can't get to sleep even though I'm exhausted. I have this huge disgusting spider bite on my leg, on the inside right where my leg bends. It's swollen to the size of a golf ball, it's red and puffy, has a purple ring around the center bite, and it's oozing. Sorry for that graphic image.... But yeah uncomfortable. I think I should see a doctor for it tomorrow. >.>
So. Yesterday was my piano recital. It went pretty well, all 2 freaking hours of it. I played a piece called Golliwog's Cakewalk by Claude Debussey. I don't really even like it. I soooo much would have rather played Mozart's Fantasy in D minor. You should check them both out on YouTube and tell me which one you like better. That'd be nice, to get some feedback.
The funny joke that appeared in the title of this post is about that song too (Golliwog). There was this tempo mark that neither I nor my teacher knew what it meant put in all throughout the middle section of the song. The word was "Cedèz" (pronounced say-day). Apparently, as I found out the morning of the recital, it means very slowly, avec ún grandè emotìon, or very emotionally. Oh, and did I mention, that also the morning of, my teacher decides that I should have it memorized!? But I unknowingly had basically the whole thing memorized already, with exceptions to half a page. Out of 6 pages.
I'm not even gonna explain the whole joke, it's really a piano nerd thing, and extremely had to be there. Even other piano nerds were looking at me funny cause it's so stupid haha. But yeah moving on... I got my first silly band today! It's a seashell. But I have 72 more coming in the mail lol. =3 I'm such a nerd... And I got my new Abort73 shirt today. One of the new End the Ignorance ones, an irregular clearance one. Nothings wrong, cept the logo on the front overlaps some words, and the logo on the back is off center. But hey, it was 4.20, eh.

It really hurts to hold your hands up for this long. I'm so tired...

I feel like I screw up every friendship I make. I'm alway scared I'm gonna do something stupid and nobodys gonna like me. But that's not even the problem really. Always as soon as I start getting to be really good friends, something happens that makes said friend upset and it's uncomfortable. At least for a while. That happened to me twice today. =/
I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to be a good friend...

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

15 May 2010 @ 11:04 pm
1. I've come to realize that my chest-size...
is smaller than average. but I'm def ok with that. 

2. I've come to realize that my job(s)...
are worth what I get paid, but take up way too much of my time. 

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
I know I need more practice

4. I've come to realize that I need....
Jesus' help with everything, cause I simply cant do it. 

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
respect for people who dont respect others.

6. I've come to realize that I HATE it when...
people are excluded/ excluding. 

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
it would have not been my doing.

8. I've come to realize that money…
is way too over rated. 

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
need to grow up.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always...
be different from anybody, and I'll never change no matter what anyone thinks I should be like. 

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...
are good for me even though they bug me up the wall most of the time. 

12. I've come to realize that my mom…
knows a lot more than the usual person. about everything BUT computers. 

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
is hardly ever used. 

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning…
it was way too early and I needed to go back to sleep. 

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep...
I'm almost always talking to Burbs. 

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
that I actually like myself today 0_o

17. I've come to realize that my dad…
is definitely extroverted and opinionated. 

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
I never see anything I want too. But I see everything anyway!

19. I've come to realize that today...
I actually looked pretty nice :3

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I miss an old friend really badly. And I'm frustrated with certain things. 

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
know what I want to do with my life. 

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to re-post this is...

24. I've come to realize that life...
goes by quicker than you realize. 

25. I've come to realize that this past weekend...
I was not nearly as productive as I could have/should have been. 

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
always varies depending on why I'm upset. 

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
are half really good true friends and half fair weather friends. 

28. I've come to realize that this year...
I grown to realize much more than I ever have. 

29. I've come to realize that my ex...

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
not take control of anything

31. I've come to realize that I love...
Jesus. Really love Him. 

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
anything. but I survive anyway.

33. I've come to realize that my past...
is really fading

34. I've come to realize that parties...
must be overrated

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally...
unlike anybody else you'll ever meet.
12 May 2010 @ 11:24 pm

For serious. My blog died.
To be honest I totally forgot (again), and then I had my CC blog going too. I actually keep that up ok, probably cause I know there are people reading it.
But here is my third attempt at keeping this one up and running. I now have an itouch, and the LJ app, so I can comfortably ramble with my thumbs as I sit in bed trying to stay awake and at the same time fall asleep.

I really miss Burbs.

As I go through my past entries from over a year ago, I have to sit back and be wowed at how different I was. Kinda scary. Yet unlike the change from middle school awkwardness to highschool reality, it's kind of just me getting more mature. Slightly. Which is good.

I wanna bet nobody ever reads this.
I think I'll put links to my CC blog so maybe somebody will read it.

Burbs is instant messaging me, and if I exit the app without posting, it erases. So this is gonna hafta be it for now.
Somebody smack me or something if I neglect posting.
Kk, ttfn.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

04 November 2009 @ 11:41 am
 Is it not way too early to be singing/thinking that? I agree. well it's 11:44 am, November 4th, and it just finished snowing like crazy for 4 hours. 
A great piece of advice I will not hesitate to share: 
Do not wait till the first snow to do your raking.
Bad idea, all around. 
Well, we did do that, and now I'm soaked, freezing, and I think my fingers will fall off. 
Fall can be pretty, but I hate November. 
All the leaves are gone, left for you to rake. It's always raining and cloudy, and it's cold. And with all the leaves gone, the landscape looks like it died. And it's all rather depressing. 
Well I sure hate November. 

03 November 2009 @ 10:33 pm
 I have the BEST youth pastor any highschooler could ask for. 
Len Maher has been amazing since I first met him. What kind of pastor uses funny voices in his sermons, or drives like a maniac while singing "Killed a wabbit..etc"? He's, like I said, the BEST. I've known him for about two years now, and I think I've kinda fallen in love. 

Not.. in the way you're thinking. He's married, and has two kids. 'Sides, that's not what I meant! I mean.. I love him, like a dad, like a great friend. 
And I took him for granted. And now he's leaving. 
I missed sunday school, so I missed the whole story (which, Jen assures me, makes it at least a little better). But turns out, unlike I was hoping for, he is leaving staff. For *grimace* Freshwater...
I dont want to be angry! I want to be happy for him and his family! I dont want these feelings I have, cause it makes me sound so selfish and rotten! But... now I'm going to vent- hopefully get rid of (or at least lessen) the feeling by typing like a maniac for nobody to ever read. There's such a peace in posting, ya know?
But I dont understand how he can just... leave. Just like that. "Oh, BTW, I decided to leave you all stranded and take up another job at the church up the road. God Bless!" I know it was way more than that, but it kinda feels like that. I should have seen it coming, been more prepared. But I was so hopeful that he wouldn't leave. 
And by leaving, I think he broke my heart. 
I dont know, I've never experienced that, so I'm not certain. But I think this is what it feels like. I LOVE(D) him. And he's not gone yet, but it sure feels like it. It even feels like he's died. Like I passed him in the hallway at church today, and he was talking. I heard his voice, and ran by. I passed him again later, and he said "hi!" in his normal cheery voice. I just stared blankly up at his tall face and had to run away again. I hope he doesn't think I hate him.
I... have run out of things to say. 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
03 November 2009 @ 10:30 pm
 I'm not going to start this post with the oh-so-common-among-LJers "Sorry for not posting more". 
But I am going to admit that life got super busy and I- not going to lie- forgot about my Live Journal. 
BUT here I am to give you some catch up on my life over the past... long time. Let's see..where were we?

Well, It's been a long time. I got a job- well, 3 actually. None of them exactly rock my world, but they all pay pretty darn well. The first is babysitting 3 angelic little girls for 3 hours on fridays. Easy, and I enjoy that; they're great. (with slight exception to recently cranky 18 month old.) The second is "mother's helper" across the street on mondays. Basically, I "play" with an 8 year old for 5 hours. whew. I think one of my least favorite things to do in life is play store, seriously. I lost that gift a long time ago. And the last is teaching my little second cousin piano lessons- which is a chore. Ask me to do the impression, I cant give it justice over this. So yeah that has been keeping me rather busy. 

Ok, AANNDD, the Tetleys moved... 4 doors down!! Yeah it's rather awesome, and I kinda live there which makes me happy:) 

and it's really rather late, and though there are many things to say I think this post has come to and end. Until next time.

Current Mood: blahblah
12 June 2009 @ 11:04 am
 I had an AWFUL dream last night and needed a place to vent it. h'ok. so it was something like my best friend and his family were moving faar away and I would never see them again. I woke up crying twice, and the second time I seriously thought it was for real. I cant get over it. end mini vent. 
05 May 2009 @ 06:13 pm
 I just looked at the calender... it's May!
(yeah I know I'm an idiot. )

Oh yeah, Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!!!! lol

but yeah, only 2 weeks till the banquet!! woot woot!!
and I have to stop biting my nails. seriously! like they should be grown out and manicured by then..
I would get a manicure to make me stop biting, but they're too short to file, and the chinese ladies who do manicures would get all upset and try to hurt my cuticles like last time *sigh*
I try painting them, but I pick the polish off after 1 day, and when I dont get it off all the way with my nails I scrape it with my teeth and layers of nail come off too, and then I start biting...
I doubt it's a habit, it's grown into an addiction.. that I need to lose!

But for the "banquet" *cough*prom*cough*;
I have to bring desserts 0.0
but I WILL prove that I can cook!
I'm going to make instant brownies xD
and they will not be burnt! which will impress my friend...cause he knows I cant cook for beans. 
lol like the one time we were making macaroni (boxed. macaroni.) and first I made the water boil over so far we had to start over. then I made the noodles stick to the bottom of the pot. then I added too much milk and made macaroni soup! 
so he's like go sit down dont hurt yourself... and he made like a fabulous lunch.

but wow that was reaaalllllyyyyyy OT. 
but this is my LJ and I will do what I want! lol. 
and now I go to eat grilled chicken and icecream! :D
23 April 2009 @ 01:53 pm
 Well wow, it's been awhile, and I apologize. 
I just got back from NC! From Summit!
(frankly the most stressful part of the year for nerdy homeschoolers like me!)

Hmm there is just so much to say and not many ways to say it, my mind just thinks so fast...

But OK about Summit.
It was basically Bible Quizzing for the Senior High Journey group. They had a Citation Ceremony and book completion recognition. 
(If you're not getting this, search AWANA clubs)
Then almost seperatly there was a Fine Arts competition. There were a bunch of sub-catagories; visual art, visual art photography, vocal, vocal group, public speaking, creative writing, instumental, instumental group, and piano. 
Elizabeth and I were both in piano. Now, I know I'm not really too special at piano, but I'm advanced for a freshman. Not quite as advanced as my friend Kara, but she's been taking lessons since she was 5 as opposed to 8.
ELIZABETH on the other hand, is the most amazing pianist.. she's going for a major this fall at Pensecola. (PCC doesn't even accept you unless you're like a little beethoven already)
She won. 
Out of 30 piano entries from accross America. 
Yeah it was pretty fillpin amazing =DD

We didn't do so very hot at the quizzing though.
We got to the Silver round, which doesnt mean second place. It means we were in the top half for the Participation and Bronze rounds, but lower half of the Silver, and obviously Gold and Platinum too. 
But we'll do better next year? If we have a team....

It was great fun in NC though. 
We got out of the car at the convention center after driving STRAIGHT through from Ohio, and we saw *wait for it*..
That's right! and we freaked out too, and got a bunch of weird looks!
Cause we're from Ohio, ya know, we havent seen flowers since like september lol.
so we went to the park on saturday and filled each of our 2GB memory cards with pictures of flowers and Andrew falling out of skinny trees xD

It was a fun time, hopefully we'll have a team together to go to Chicago next year!
11 April 2009 @ 08:04 pm
 When you hear Easter you prolly think about eggs, butterflies, and/or a stained glass widow portraying Jesus standing outside the tomb all shiny. 
We all know it's a great time to dye eggs, eat candy, and dress up. 
But in the midst of the fun, lets not forget what Easter is all about?
Sometimes the most important stories get told so many times, they lose their gripping effect.
Now, I'm no pastor, and I dont intend to lecture, but the Easter story is really amazing!
John 1:1 states that Jesus=God=perfect
So Jesus lived  a perfect life, and was killed. Not only did He die physically though. In the 8 hours on the cross, he also carried every sin man ever did or will commit. In order for Him to become sin for us, God had to turn His back on Jesus. 
Now, how God can seperate himself from Jesus while Jesus still being devine enough for His death to mean anything is mind-boggling. At least to me and Martin Luther.

"God forsaken God! Who can understand it!?" ~Martin Luther

But I think it's not fro us to understand, at least not yet. 
I personally cant wait to find out. 

"He came to pay a debt He did not owe, because we owed a debt we could not pay"

Let's never forget the true meaning of Easter;
Christ's death, which brings the hope of eternal life.

Happy Easter!!!!!